How exactly do you spin a story about a huge increase in shipments of an Apple product negatively? Let’s find out!
Writing for the very nice people and possessed cymbal-banging monkeys over at Business Insider, Isobel Asher Hamilton definitely has that “market share is the most important thing ever” BI house style down pat.
“The Apple Watch’s dominance is under threat.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Peter.)
Read more »0
There is an unwritten rule of punditry that say that anything that happens to be Apple must be put on the big conspiracy board covered in red string and containing every problem it has ever had so it can be fit into a larger narrative about how everything is going dreadfully wrong for the company.
The company’s financials do not appear on this board. There just wasn’t enough room.
Writing for Fast Company, Mark Wilson says “This is Apple’s come-to-Jesus moment.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Aaron.)
Read more »0
You know what they say, don’t watch them make a sausage and also never ask how analysts predict a company’s performance or value stocks.
Writing for Barron’s, Tiernan Ray tells us of the imminent Apple doom that is always just a few months away.
“Apple: The Quant View Shows a Weak September.”
Read more »0
The Macalope had to do a double-take today as he felt certain he had read an article before but it turns out he’d just read an article that was almost exactly the same as this one. What a relief to know it’s not a glitch in the matrix. He hates those. They always lead to so many slow-motion action shots.
Writing for the Forbes contributor network and Institute for Advanced Misunderstanding, Gordon Kelly says “Apple's iPhone 9 Has An Unfixable Design Problem.” (Tip o’ the antlers to mylestaylor.)
FAUX GASP.
Read more »0
Apple has rightly received a slap on the hands from European regulators and… wait, it was Google? That can’t be right.
Writing for Bloomberg, Leonid Bershidsky says “Apple Deserves an EU Fine, Too.”
Sure. Why not? Heck why not give it two? Seems like two oughta do it. Three is not out of consideration. Four seems like a little much, but The Macalope would be willing to entertain serious arguments. Five is right out.
Read more »0
Get ready to learn a shocking new fact about pricing! You will truly be astounded.
Writing for the Forbes contributor network and burlap underwear outlet, Gordon Kelly says the “New iPhone Leak Exposes Apple's Nasty Surprise.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alberto.)
If you’re not familiar with Kelly’s work, don’t get incensed at the use of “Nasty Surprise.” For him it’s a tic, like the Comic Book Guy calling everything “Worst ever!” or Voldemort using “Avada Kedavra” all the time.
Read more »0
No matter how many people use the iPad professionally, we can not seem to put to rest this old saw of pundits: “CAN the iPad be use as a professional tool?! Our resident greater-than-90-degree-angle Colin Blunderbuss investigates!”
Writing for ZDNet, Chris Matyszczyk says “I tried to write this article on an iPad Pro. It didn’t go well.”
This plays out a little bit like “I tried eat a ham sandwich by blending it and sucking it through a straw. It didn’t go well.”
Read more »0
The Macalope
Older stories