How to Get Constructive Feedback in Meetings

What if your GPS told you that you missed your turn four miles ago, rather than in the moment? You’d be furious. You’d also be lost. And yet that’s how most of us get feedback at work. You get a mid-year review in June about a habit that started in February. By the time you hear about it, you’re already three counties past where you should have turned. Not helpful. In high school, I was a competitive public speaker. The second I flubbed a line, my coaches and teammates pointed it out on the spot. I saw the mistake, owned it, and fixed it before I’d left the room. That’s how I got really good really fast. You can build something similar at work. If you’re brave (and I know you are) ask the people around you to “catch you in the act.” It means inviting your manager, peers, or direct reports to flag what you’re doing the second they see it, while you can still do something about it. It takes guts. It also works. (Honestly, most of MY real-time feedback comes from my kids. “MOM!!! You’re doing that thing”) A few things to know before you try it: 1. Drop your defenses before the feedback lands. Real-time correction stings, EVEN when you asked for it. 2. Make a specific ask or you’ll get nothing useful. “Help me get better” won’t help you get better. “Tell me when you hear me interrupting in our Tuesday meeting” is a request someone can actually fulfill. 3. Ask to be caught doing it RIGHT, too. Real-time reinforcement is just as powerful as real-time correction. When my kids were in nursery school, the teacher had a “CBG Box” — Caught Being Good. The stickers in that box were as exciting and motivating as being acknowledges for good behavior. 4. Thank the people doing the catching. They’re spending attention they don’t have to give you. I wrote about all of this in my new piece for Psychology Today, including how to make the ask without melting into a puddle of feedback shame. Read it here: https://lnkd.in/eSc2zdif #feedback #coaching #performancemanagement

Great feedback is a shared conversation, not a one-sided list of issues and opinions. Even experienced leaders aren’t immune. Many feel uneasy  or avoid feedback altogether, worried it’ll backfire or strain the relationship. Because let’s be honest:   𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥. The timing. The tone. The impact. There’s a lot that gets in the way. Just saying “Are you open to feedback?” Can make someone brace for the worst. And yet, employees want feedback. Gallup data show that 80% of employees are more engaged when it’s  regular, clear, and focused on growth. Here’s what’s missing:  A 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. A real, two-way one. 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸: 1️⃣ Start with a question, not a critique. 🟢 Ask: “What’s your take on that client meeting?” 🟢 Let them share fully. Don’t rush to respond 🟢 Reflect back what you heard before adding input 2️⃣ Make your intent clear, not assumed 🟢 Say: “I have feedback to support your growth”  🟢 Ask: “How open to that are you right now?” 🟢 Use “I noticed” instead of “you should” 🟢 Stay focused on shared goals, not just gaps 3️⃣ Build the solution together 🟢 Ask: “What’s one thing we could try next time?” 🟢 Ask them for ideas before offering your own  🟢 It helps avoid defaulting to your solution 4️⃣ Recommit to growth moving forward 🟢 Ask: “What will help you keep building this skill?”  🟢 Reinforce the why behind the feedback  🟢 Agree on how you’ll support their next steps 5️⃣ Invite feedback on your feedback 🟢 Ask: “How was this helpful or not?” 🟢 Explore what would make it easier next time 🟢 Be open to adjusting how you give feedback Make feedback a two-way conversation.  Not a download. Not a judgment. Just two humans…talking, learning, growing. How do you prepare to give honest feedback? —————————— ♻️ Repost to share this with your team or leaders. 🔔 Follow Justin Hills for human-first leadership.

Someone said something in a meeting this week that they'd been sitting on for a month. Not because the problem was new. Not because the moment was finally right. Because there was a structure that made it safe to say. I've been real before about a gap at Stitch: we're not great at direct feedback. And I've been part of that. I've let conversations close without saying the hard thing. Watched the energy in a room and made the quiet choice to protect it. That instinct — preserve the comfort, don't disrupt what's working — isn't leadership. It just feels like leadership in the moment. A few weeks ago, Jolene Chan mentioned a framework from her time at Bluewolf. Three words. I wrote them down, sat with them, then put them into action. Win. Learn. Change. At the close of any meeting — a client call, a 1:1, a debrief still standing in the lobby of an onsite — you take a few minutes. Everyone answers the same three questions. Win: What specifically went well? Not "solid meeting." The prep. The question that changed the room's temperature. Name it out loud. Let the person hear it. Learn: What shifted? What do you know now that you didn't going in? Change: What would you do differently? Different price. Different framing. Different sequence. No blame, no target — just honesty meeting honesty. That third one is the whole game. When everyone answers it at the same time, the structure absorbs the charge. Nobody's exposed. Nobody's defending. The room just opens up. Feedback without structure is a loaded silence. Feedback with structure is a conversation. The person who finally said that thing they'd been sitting on for a month? They didn't get braver. They just got a place to put it That's all most of us need. Try it once this week. Win. Learn. Change. In that order.

Most people take constructive criticism personally. They feel judged. Misunderstood. Not good enough. But what if feedback wasn’t something to fear? What if it was your fastest way to grow? Here’s how to shift your mindset: 1. Pause before reacting Your first instinct might be to defend yourself. Instead, listen. Really listen. 2. Find the lesson, not the offense Feedback isn’t about proving you’re wrong—it’s about helping you get better. 3. Ask for clarity A simple “Can you give me an example?” turns vague criticism into actionable insight. 4. Take what’s useful, leave the rest Not all feedback is worth keeping. Learn to filter out what doesn’t serve you. 5. Apply it Growth doesn’t come from hearing feedback. It comes from using it. The most successful professionals don’t avoid criticism. They seek it, use it, and improve because of it. What’s one piece of feedback that changed the way you work? Let’s talk.

When was the last time you received honest-to-goodness feedback? Did it make your stomach turn a little? Did you immediately want to defend yourself, explain your side, or change the subject? You’re not alone. Feedback can feel uncomfortable, awkward—even threatening—especially when we’re caught off guard. But here’s the truth: feedback is essential if you want to live and lead from the front-row of your life. It’s a key ingredient in personal growth, leadership development, and unlocking your full potential. So instead of dreading it, let’s reframe how we receive feedback. Here are three powerful strategies you can use to make the most of any feedback conversation: 1. Be Curious, Not Defensive You cannot be curious and defensive at the same time. So, the next time someone gives you feedback, take a breath and lean in.  Ask questions like:  “Can you give me a specific example of what you mean?”  “When did you observe that behavior?”  “Can you tell me more?”  Curiosity shifts the energy in the conversation. Instead of shutting down, you open up to understanding. And that’s where real growth begins. 2. Ask for Advice, Not Just Critique Feedback without a vision for improvement can feel like criticism.  Flip the script by asking:  “What would success look like in this situation?”  “What would you suggest I do differently next time?”  “If you were in my shoes, what would you try?”  This invites the other person into a problem-solving mindset and helps you focus on what’s next instead of what went wrong. 3. Say Thank You (Even If It Was Hard to Hear) Gratitude goes a long way—especially when the feedback stings. If someone took the time to offer you constructive insight, thank them. They might have struggled to bring it up, but they did it anyway.  Try this:   “Thank you for being honest with me. I really appreciate it.”   “I wouldn’t have known that if you hadn’t said something. I’ll reflect on this.”  The people who care enough to give us feedback often want to see us succeed. Let them know their input matters. Front-Row Takeaway: Feedback doesn’t have to be a source of fear or friction. When you:  Stay curious,  Seek clarity and advice, and Express gratitude… …you transform feedback from something awkward into something actionable. That’s what front-row leaders do—they face the music, learn the dance, and keep growing. 

From rising through the ranks in investment banking to coaching future leaders, I know feedback is the secret to success. In my 25+ years, I’ve seen how timely, well-asked feedback can unlock promotions, raises and career growth —don’t wait to ask. 1 - Ask for feedback in a timely manner - as soon after the event (eg presentation, meeting, research paper, sales pitch, etc.) as possible. ⭐ Avoid waiting too long to ask, as memories can fade over time. ⭐ Choose a time when the person can focus on your request - scheduling 1x1 time, go for a coffee, etc. - strive for an environment with few distractions. ⭐ Give the person a heads-up that you’ll be asking for their feedback, so they have time to prepare. 2 - Ask someone who you TRUST and will be honest and forthcoming ⭐ Be careful not to be tempted to ask people who you know will provide positive feedback. (Personally, I like to ask a pessimist/glass is half empty personality). 3 - Be CLEAR and SPECIFIC on what you want feedback on ⭐ EXAMPLE - Don't say "How Am I Doing?". Be more specific and say "Can you provide feedback on how I at the sales pitch with Client ABC" 4 - Ask for EXAMPLES ⭐ EXAMPLE - "When you say I sounded nervous during the pitch, what specifically did you observe? Was it my body language, the way I spoke, the pace of my speaking, etc.?" 5 - Be OPEN and receptive to the feedback and do not get defensive ⭐ If you are defensive, you can discourage the person giving you honest feedback (or any feedback at all) ⭐ Realize that PERCEPTION IS REALITY. If the person provided feedback that you do not agree with, realize it is their reality (and likely others as well). 6 - Put an ACTION PLAN in place to address the feedback. ⭐ Ask the person providing feedback for their views on steps you can take to improve. Be grateful and thank the person who provided you feedback and ask them if you can follow up with them in a few weeks time to see if they have seen improvement. I also like to encourage them to share TIMELY feedback with me whenever they notice something. P.S. Want help with your development needs ⭐⭐ I can help. DM me now or email me at craigbroder@emergingedgellp.com. ♻️♻️♻️PLEASE REPOST AND SHARE WITH YOUR NETWORK ♻️ ♻️♻️

Stop bracing for impact. Start asking for direction. You walk into your performance review already bracing for impact. Your manager starts with “areas for improvement,” and your chest tightens. You nod along, take notes, and leave the meeting feeling smaller than when you walked in. (Ready to move up? Take the VP Readiness Quiz: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG) You don’t have to sit there and take it. 🔸 Why Traditional Feedback Fails – It puts you in a passive role – Your brain hears “threat” and shuts down – You leave unclear on what to do differently You're not learning. You're surviving. 🔸 Why Feedforward Works Better – Focuses on possibility, not failure – Activates your problem-solving brain – Leaves you energized with clear next steps This is neuroscience. Feedforward lights up the prefrontal cortex (planning center), not the amygdala (threat center). You become adaptive, creative, ready. 🔸 How to Redirect Feedback ❌ Instead of this: "You missed deadlines last quarter." 🟢 Try this: "What systems or support would help me manage deadlines more effectively?" ❌ Instead of this: "You need to be more strategic." 🟢 Try this: "What would strategic thinking look like in my role? Can you give me an example?" ❌ Instead of this: "You need executive presence." 🟢 Try this: "What specific behaviors would you like to see in the next leadership meeting?" You're not rejecting feedback. You're translating it into growth. Even if your manager isn't used to giving feedforward, you can lead the shift. Start by asking: “Before we dive into last quarter, can we talk about what success looks like this year?” Watch the energy change. Have you ever tried asking for feedforward instead of feedback? 🔖 Save this for your next career conversation Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights

Feedback is a loop, but we often keep it open-ended. Closing the loop is more than a simple "thank you for giving me the feedback." That's merely a dead end. Feedback isn't an event, it should be an ongoing partnership for growth. How do you make that happen? By applying feedback and following up with this three step process: Step 1: Change the way you ask for feedback. Instead of simply asking "what feedback do you have," get more specific in what you're asking for up front, so you can focus the other person's attention to what you need (e.g. I'd really like your feedback on the overall flow of that presentation and what made it easy or difficult to absorb). Then look for the one thing you can take and apply. This approach makes it easier to get valuable, actionable feedback, even if there are elements you disagree with. Step 2: Proactively set a date to action on the feedback and even follow up. When can you implement a first step? How will you re-connect to provide an update? Discuss that plan with the other person. Step 3: When that date hits, share the following: "Because of your feedback, I did x, and this is what I've observed as a result. What have you noticed?" We leave conversations unfinished and open-ended every single day, like strands of string dangling everywhere. It's time to start creating loops - professionally and personally. #ignitedbyjordana #feedback #leadership #communication #closetheloop

How you receive feedback Determines how successful you become (in career and life). 4 proven tips to help you gracefully accept the gift of feedback: 1/ Listen actively Why: By approaching feedback with curiosity, you show a willingness to listen to understand (vs. to respond) the other person's perspective. How: Maintain eye contact, nod to acknowledge understanding, and wait until the person has finished speaking before responding. Remember, listening doesn't mean you agree with everything. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my presentation. I'm curious to learn more. Can you elaborate on the areas you think need improvement and what advice you have on how I can approach these differently?" 2/ Seek diverse perspectives Why: Asking for feedback from different people gives you a clearer picture of what you’re doing well and where you can improve. Plus, it helps you spot patterns in how others see your work. How: After receiving feedback on risk management from one person, reach out to others for additional perspective. "I'm looking to improve the quality of my risk management and reporting within my program. Do you have any advice for me in this area? Your input will help me de-risk execution and provide more accurate representation to stakeholders." 3/ Take time to process and reflect Why: Feedback can sting at first contact. Taking time to process it helps you manage your emotional response and consider it objectively. You can then identify key takeaways and develop a plan for implementing changes. How: "I appreciate your feedback on my communication style. I want to take some time to reflect on your suggestions and consider how to incorporate them into my interactions with the team. Can we schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss my action plan next week?" 4/ Express gratitude and close the loop Why: Expressing gratitude shows that you value the person's time and effort in providing feedback. Following up proves you’re serious about improving. How: "Thank you for sharing your feedback on my project estimations. Your input on factoring dependency review timelines has given me valuable perspective. Attached is the revised proposal based on your suggestions. I welcome any additional feedback you may have." PS: Feedback is not all-or-nothing. Even if you don't agree with everything, there's usually something valuable to take away. PPS: How gracefully you handle feedback directly correlates with whether others will give it to you (again). Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro

You can tell feedback won’t have the intended impact before the conversation even starts. From my experience, that’s because we prepare for feedback conversations the wrong way. We rehearse what we want to say as feedback givers: We craft the message, anticipate objections, plan their delivery. It is as if we are walking in prepared for a speech, rather than dialogue. As a result, the recipient gets defensive (wouldn't you?) and the conversation goes sideways quickly. When I teach about feedback, I make the case for three shifts that change this dynamic: (1) Prepare your first question, not your first statement. Instead of "I want to talk about your performance on the project," try "How do you think the project went?" You'll learn what the other person already knows, which changes what you can say next. Plus, getting a sense of how much awareness the recipient has can help you shape the conversation. (2) Separate the observation from the interpretation. "You seemed disengaged in the meeting" bundles what you saw with what you concluded. Try instead: "I noticed you didn't speak during the first 20 minutes." Let them fill in the why instead of you assuming it. You'll often be surprised by what you learn. (3) Ask what they need, not what they'll "commit to." "What do you need from me to make this work?" lands differently than "So what are you going to do about it?" One opens a door while the other closes it. And it clarifies that the recipient in not on their own as they address whatever issue needs improvement. Feedback conversations don’t have to be as hard as they generally are. But for that to be the case, we need to approach them as a dialogue. Truly. #feedback #conversation #leadership